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Was I adopted? How can I find out if my parents are uncooperative with my enquiries?

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  • freedom74
  • I often feel like I was adopted.

    There's not much resemblance.

    I am the only bright one in my family. My mother is a stupid bog Irishwoman and my Father a backward redneck who himself was an ex-nuptial child. btw I am fond of my Irish heritage, but don't wear it on my sleeve.

    Its like I am soo different from the rest of them. Personally I have a deeply sensitive and empathetic nature, while my folks are control freaks, tending toward slight violence, my father having problems with alcohol. I am an atheist, they are very conservative and religious. They are full right wing, they rant about [their words here] 'abos, junkies, immigration, the needs of business, helping enterpreneurs'. I am the little l liberal.

    They are callous and cruel with any family members who dissent from them. They are psychologically abusive and will withdraw affection from those who aren't sycophantic with them.

    They deny I am adopted. If they are uncooperative, how can I put my concerns to rest forever? And know the truth of my biological heritage.
  • airconteka
  • If you have different political views than your parents, then clearly you were adopted. Find people with similar views as yourself, about the same age as your parents and start calling them mum and dad. It will be uncomfortable at first but I am sure they will get used to it.
  • big eddie
  • If you parents are such horrible people, why would they be adopting an additional financial burden in the form of additional children?
  • airconteka
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by big eddie

    If you parents are such horrible people, why would they be adopting an additional financial burden in the form of additional children?


    Maybe they were rich and it was a form of conspicious consumption that seems all the rage with celebrities these days.
  • BootyCamp
  • Look at your parents and siblings (if you have any). do you resemble them physically? maybe see if you can get some photos of your folks or perhaps even your grandparents when they were young and see if anything genetic is reflected.
  • freedom74
  • My parents were probably ok to adopt some kid, but the way I turned out was entirely the unexpected. As Queenslanders, people of low education also, and in my mothers case, religious, they are a wonderful brew of bigotry, hatred and intolerance.

    A charming example of their friendliness was our battle in the legal case of Wadsworth&Wadsworth[2008]FMCAfam140, reported the law reports.
  • freedom74
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by BootyCamp

    Look at your parents and siblings (if you have any). do you resemble them physically? maybe see if you can get some photos of your folks or perhaps even your grandparents when they were young and see if anything genetic is reflected.

    My brother is short, I'm tall, there's absolutely no resemblance. He resembles my father closely, and he's the favored child. Grandparents don't come in because my father was adopted, him being an ex-nuptial child given up for adoption as that was common in Queensland in those days. There aren't any photos of my maternal grandparents.

    Most of my relatives are extremely conservative and of low educational attainment, again, me being the only one with anything upstairs, the only one fond of civilised pursuits such as the arts or literature, the only one with empathy for people and feeling. I can't speak to absolutely anyone, they've closed ranks against me so fucking tight you'd think I was Ivan Milat or something.
  • freedom74
  • Hey I don't mean to be a pest but I just thought of it like this. There's an expression I think "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" well I'm not from their tree I reckon its impossible.
  • bumba
  • dont fret, i bet u they wish u were adopted too

  • Rogan Josh
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by freedom74

    My mother is a stupid bog Irishwoman ... btw I am fond of my Irish heritage, but don't wear it on my sleeve.

    No shit!
  • bumba
  • ooh, ooh, i actually have an idea this time

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by freedom74


    They deny I am adopted. If they are uncooperative, how can I put my concerns to rest forever? And know the truth of my biological heritage.

    entice them over to your place, axe them, and hide the bodies... cops will have to DNA test the blood to find out whose it is

    genius
  • nom de guerre
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by freedom74

    My brother is short, I'm tall, there's absolutely no resemblance. He resembles my father closely, and he's the favored child. Grandparents don't come in because my father was adopted, him being an ex-nuptial child given up for adoption as that was common in Queensland in those days. There aren't any photos of my maternal grandparents.

    Most of my relatives are extremely conservative and of low educational attainment, again, me being the only one with anything upstairs, the only one fond of civilised pursuits such as the arts or literature, the only one with empathy for people and feeling. I can't speak to absolutely anyone, they've closed ranks against me so fucking tight you'd think I was Ivan Milat or something.

    You do not know much about genetics do you?

    For instance a little fun informational titbit:
    If one of your parents is short and the other one is tall....then genetically (it's been tested and proved etc), if they have three children, two will be tall and one will be short. No butts about it.
  • Oblivia
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by freedom74

    Its like I am soo different from the rest of them. Personally I have a deeply sensitive and empathetic nature, while my folks are control freaks

    Assuming for a moment that you are not infact a fictitious character created by a bored person on the internet, are you sure your not that different. I think, judging from the multitude of threads advocating more laws and inhibiting personal freedoms, that you are in fact a hel of a control freak.

    Also, if in real life you are anything like you are on the internet, I am surprised your parents havent already told you you are adopted, whether its the truth or not.
  • Oblivia
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by freedom74

    Most of my relatives are extremely conservative and of low educational attainment

    *patronizing voice*
    Oooh, attainment, good vocabulary! Today, lets try 'have attained only a low level of education' or 'uneducated'.
    [/English teacher]

    (seriously, that sounds like a sentance one of the students in my advanced class would put together, with a thesaurus and 10 points for effort, but no real grasp of how the word is actually used)
  • Oblivia
  • Serious answer though, on the internet are places you can send dna samples and have someones paternity tested.
  • Carte Blanche
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by freedom74

    A charming example of their friendliness was our battle in the legal case of Wadsworth&Wadsworth[2008]FMCAfam140, reported the law reports.

    I particularly liked paragraph 7 of the Court's judgment in that case.

    Quote:

    The applicant is 33 years of age. The Amended Application seeks the following orders, and I will summarise them. It seeks payment of $2,000 weekly in cash indexed; it seeks payment of the applicant’s costs of up to 20,000 kilometres of domestic air travel annually; it seeks payment of costs up to 100,000 kilometres of international air travel annually; it seeks that the respondents pay for the health insurance cover, including extras, at the highest tabled scale of cover; it seeks payment of moneys which will enable the applicant to be examined on an urgent basis by a dentist and then seeks payment of a range of orthodontic, what is described as periodontic and endodontic treatments, including for cosmetic purposes; it seeks payment of all of the expenses associated with the removal of certain genital hair to prepare for sexual reassignment surgery, and facial hair, upon the basis that such treatment is to commence forthwith; it seeks the payment of costs of a procedure known as augmentation mammoplasty, of sexual reassignment surgery, including orchiectomy and vaginoplasty, and the payment of travel and similar costs associated with those surgical procedures; it seeks payment upon the applicant receiving an offer of a place of study in a tertiary institution, of costs of core textbooks and $250 per enrolled subject; it seeks the provision of a motor vehicle, and there are highly specific provisions in the paragraph of the application that relate to the kind of motor vehicle that is to be provided; it seeks the transfer of a Volvo motor vehicle, in paragraph 10; and it seeks the costs of the applicant renting a dwelling of luxury standard or, in the alternative, the purchase of a dwelling, with highly specific requirements as to location and fixtures and fittings (eg. rugs of a Middle-Eastern origin).

    Sounds like a perfectly reasonable claim to me. Let's see what His Honour thought though, in paragraphs 48 and 49:

    Quote:

    I think also to be taken into account in the context of reasonableness is the breadth of the application. One looks at the some of the orders sought by the applicant and considers, first, the need for the payment to be necessary on account of a completion of education - and that really forms a very minor, almost negligible, aspect of the adjudication of the matter - and the need for the provision of the maintenance to be necessary because of a mental or physical disability. Against that legislative test, some of the orders sought (especially in relation to housing) have a strong element of the far-fetched and impertinent about them.

    As I say, the question of education is referred to in one aspect of the application. It is not a matter that is dealt with in any great detail in the affidavits. There is little in the material to indicate that the payment of maintenance is required to enable the completion of a course of education, and matters relating to the hiatus between the dates upon which the applicant was previously engaged in a course of education and now are also relevant to the exercise of the discretion.

    One truly wonders what His Honour had for breakfast to summarily dismiss the application on such shaky grounds. The judiciary these days is out of control.
  • dance strategy
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by freedom74

    I often feel like I was adopted..

    So does everyone else when they have conflict with family
    In my family are two adopted and one natural child. In our family portrait we are all so a like no one would ever guess the truth. Dont judge a book by its cover is another good old saying.
    Youve chosen a path (as many do) that distances you from your family, so accept that distance as a life reality. Be careful not to try not to search for a fantasy that seems to "justify" or "explain" your life situation for anything other than what it is .....
    The result of your lifestyle choices as an adult.
    If you have any real doubts start here -
    http://www.bensoc.asn.au/index.cfm
  • Carte Blanche
  • By the way freedom74, there are often rugs of Middle-Eastern origin available at many stores in large Australian cities. They can often be had for extraordinarily low low prices, yes out the door they go, right into your dwelling of luxury standard, it's madness yes completely mad. I'm insane, what will I do, I'm so crazy right now I'm capable of bringing even the most frivolous of lawsuits.
  • riichiee
  • Quote:

    The applicant is 33 years of age. The Amended Application seeks the following orders, and I will summarise them. It seeks payment of $2,000 weekly in cash indexed; it seeks payment of the applicant’s costs of up to 20,000 kilometres of domestic air travel annually; it seeks payment of costs up to 100,000 kilometres of international air travel annually; it seeks that the respondents pay for the health insurance cover, including extras, at the highest tabled scale of cover; it seeks payment of moneys which will enable the applicant to be examined on an urgent basis by a dentist and then seeks payment of a range of orthodontic, what is described as periodontic and endodontic treatments, including for cosmetic purposes; it seeks payment of all of the expenses associated with the removal of certain genital hair to prepare for sexual reassignment surgery, and facial hair, upon the basis that such treatment is to commence forthwith; it seeks the payment of costs of a procedure known as augmentation mammoplasty, of sexual reassignment surgery, including orchiectomy and vaginoplasty, and the payment of travel and similar costs associated with those surgical procedures; it seeks payment upon the applicant receiving an offer of a place of study in a tertiary institution, of costs of core textbooks and $250 per enrolled subject; it seeks the provision of a motor vehicle, and there are highly specific provisions in the paragraph of the application that relate to the kind of motor vehicle that is to be provided; it seeks the transfer of a Volvo motor vehicle, in paragraph 10; and it seeks the costs of the applicant renting a dwelling of luxury standard or, in the alternative, the purchase of a dwelling, with highly specific requirements as to location and fixtures and fittings (eg. rugs of a Middle-Eastern origin).

    This is fucking disgusting.

    I feel sorry for your parents. Honestly.

    You are the worst kind of person.

    You remind me of one of those spoiled kids who is always trying to secure their 'inheritance', like it's some kind of goddamn right.
  • Goldfish
  • If i was one of your parents i would gladly own up to you being adopted. In fact, id probably tell you that you were, even if you werent. Why would any parent want to lay claim to someone so selfish.

    You are the same age as me, yet seek for your parents to pay for everthing for you. You disgust me. Grow up, stop wasting peoples time and get a job, you seem to think that working is beneath you. Pay your own rent, pay your own health insurance, buy your own car, just like every other "adult" has to. Your disrespect for your parents means that they have absolutely NO reason to help you out.
  • Gotti
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by riichiee

    This is fucking disgusting.

    I feel sorry for your parents. Honestly.

    You are the worst kind of person.

    You remind me of one of those spoiled kids who is always trying to secure their 'inheritance', like it's some kind of goddamn right.

    agreed, silver/golden spoon lodged firmly up its arse...i hate the "gimme, gimme" mentally of rich twits, get off your arse and work for yourself your parents do not owe you anything, if you were my child you'd be working at mcdonalds or locked away in mental home until you come to grips with reality (reality is that you?)
  • freedom74
  • The judgment is now pending appeal.

    Interestingly, the beak seemed to think, upon legal advice I subsequently received, that if I brought my action a decade ago I might well have won.

    The other side spent almost 30 grand defending it.

    The judiciary is a bit outta control. And the government must do something to reduce the impacts of self-represented litigants in order to keep the flow of the Courts smooth and orderly.
  • Abziie
  • the other side spent almost 30 grand? thats peanuts compared to what you want. you greedy little shit
  • freedom74
  • The other side was offered a settlement to cover all of my medical and dental care for a few years at least, all operations, and the provision of a modest motor car. Not a car anything like the big black 7 series beemer with GPS he gets around in now. They rejected the offer, via their attorneys [for Adelaide people from down Goodwood way]. The settlement would have cost far less than all of the orders sought. They elected to defend the application, because they "won't have our money paying for some fairies nip and tuck".
  • twistedbydesign
  • Do you know how common it is for people to be estranged from their parents in this day and age
  • freedom74
  • My orders sought were peanuts compared to what they actually have. I could have gotten out of Sydney, picked up a nice home around Goodwood or Burnside or in the Onkaparinga/Adelaide Hills area. I could have gotten all my health needs fulfilled, make plans for the long-term, and be able to live a normal life. Plus travel, indulge my fondness for the arts, grow fruits, look my best and find a bit of fulfilment. Or I could have picked Canberra, and gotten a verdant rural spot around Queanbeyan, Bungendore or Yass and done all the above as well in that context.
  • Carte Blanche
  • If your case had any merit you'd easily be able to find a lawyer willing to work on contingency. In the jurisdiction of the FMC matters are routinely put down for mediation at the directions hearing and often settle prior to trial. It's easy work.

    I also find it hard to believe it cost the respondents $30,000. I'm calling serious bullshit. A few affidavits, a few appearances. Your case got summarily dismissed for crying out loud.

    You're appealling? I can't say I'd feel sorry for you if a costs order were made against you.
  • freedom74
  • Their figure was given by their silk who represented them.

    I had big problems getting full medical reports as no-one would pay for them and I could not either. I did get some funded psychologist report, but those guys don't carry much weight and he was too ambiguous for the report to be clearly in my favor. Notably though, he was unable to say if I could work, or when, or what I could do, or for whatever hours, and he did give some indication of mental disorders being present.

    This matter was winnable, but only with a great effort and first-class representation plus Counsel and since they had an SC, an SC or QC perhaps also, right from the word go. All of which I could not buy, legal aid does not get you, and in a highly unusual application, no-one would risk it. Surely if I won, it would have meant reduced or eliminated reliance on the state/commonwealth, and the loss inevitably means continued long reliance on state/commonwealth assitance.
  • freedom74
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by Carte Blanche

    If your case had any merit you'd easily be able to find a lawyer willing to work on contingency. In the jurisdiction of the FMC matters are routinely put down for mediation at the directions hearing and often settle prior to trial. It's easy work.

    I also find it hard to believe it cost the respondents $30,000. I'm calling serious bullshit. A few affidavits, a few appearances. Your case got summarily dismissed for crying out loud.

    You're appealling? I can't say I'd feel sorry for you if a costs order were made against you.

    Their lawyer said to me on their behalf in an email the only settlement they would be prepared to entertain would be me discontinuing the proceeding and not paying me anything/paying anything on my behalf. There really was no effort at settlement.

    The words of their response were they were seeking:

    that the application be dismissed,
    costs,
    that the proceeding be transferred to Adelaide [I put it on over here]

    It was really kind of surreal, sitting in the halls of the Court with them opposite and that despite we'd not seen each other for years, we could not speak to each other, sitting there in their finest threads flanked by a Partner solicitor [prestige firm], his junior, my brother, their silk, a girl [either another junior lawyer or the solicitors's paralegal/pa/etc] and me in an old office suit of mine, and my supermarket bag with lever arch file.
  • freedom74
  • As a person of straw with little prospects, I am undeterred by the issue of costs. I already have little in life to lose.
  • Carte Blanche
  • You'd not seen each other for years yet you're claiming a relationship of dependence? His Honour cut through the nonsense of your legal argument like a hot knife through butter. There's creative lawyering and then there's just taking the piss.

    Anyway, I'm not participating in this thread anymore. Good luck with your appeal.
  • dance strategy
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by Carte Blanche

    You'd not seen each other for years yet you're claiming a relationship of dependence?

    Freedom, if you are hoping to find out you are adopted to strengthen your case re parental duty of care blah blah blah ... be ready to be disappointed.
  • bumba
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by freedom74

    I could have gotten out of Sydney, picked up a nice home around Goodwood or Burnside or in the Onkaparinga/Adelaide Hills area. I could have gotten all my health needs fulfilled, make plans for the long-term, and be able to live a normal life. Plus travel, indulge my fondness for the arts, grow fruits, look my best and find a bit of fulfilment.

    everyone else has to fit this into their 'spare time' after putting in a full days work... why should u be any different?

    if i felt bad after my first little snide comment, i dont now

    and if u ever axe your parents and blame some random chick on the internet (u seem like just the type to do that), i swear, il chop it off myself

    im with Carte Blanche, im out
  • freedom74
  • Well it was my only hope really. I wanted something to look forward to in life, after much hardship, privation and suffering.
  • MadMike
  • So you asked for a fat handout by taking your parents to court?

    You wanted a travel allowance and a car? You specified the type of car and the fittings in a residence to be provided to you?

    You're an adult. Start acting like one. I'm inclined to ban you, not for censorship reasons, not because I'm discriminating against you because you're transexual, but because YOU'RE FUCKING MENTAL.
  • Bracko
  • fuck me... $2000 weekly plus 100,000 km international travel.

    you really aren't quite there are you.

    out of interest freedom, what is the median salary for employed australians?
  • big eddie
  • I am actually in shock at the moment.

    a) That Freedom actually exists, I was heavily in the 'is a troll' camp.
    b) That anyone would actually bring a lawsuit like that
    c) That anyone would think they could win such a suit.

    104k p.a ex-tax??? and then asking for car and international travel allowances on top of that?

    I'm surprised the judge didn't piss himself laughing whilst dismissing the case.

    So hats off to you for being the most insane fucker I have ever come across.
  • Rogan Josh
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by freedom74

    The other side was offered a settlement to cover all of my medical and dental care for a few years at least, all operations, and the provision of a modest motor car. Not a car anything like the big black 7 series beemer with GPS he gets around in now.

    Catch public transport!
    Why would anyone's family "owe" them any money? I don't get it, personally, live on your own steam.
  • djdarbs
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by freedom74

    I am the only bright one in my family.

    Lol.

    Jesus Fails.
  • Bracko
  • yeah, i can't quite get my head around that either.....

  • madam meow
  • fuckin hell.

    what scares me is there are heaps of real life people like this.

    we should make proper use of Nauru.
  • N4TE
  • Stop it, you're giving heroin addicted transexual drama queens a bad name.
  • fat joe
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by freedom74

    The judgment is now pending appeal.

    Interestingly, the beak seemed to think, upon legal advice I subsequently received, that if I brought my action a decade ago I might well have won.

    The other side spent almost 30 grand defending it.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by freedom74

    The other side was offered a settlement to cover all of my medical and dental care for a few years at least, all operations, and the provision of a modest motor car. Not a car anything like the big black 7 series beemer with GPS he gets around in now. They rejected the offer, via their attorneys [for Adelaide people from down Goodwood way]. The settlement would have cost far less than all of the orders sought. They elected to defend the application, because they "won't have our money paying for some fairies nip and tuck".

    Pretty sure gender reassignment surgery, combined with a car, would cost a lot more than 30 grand. Plus they know that the money isn't going to some pathetic gold digging addict such as yourself.

    As for the comment re. your fathers 7 Series, what is the world coming to when a man spends money he earnt on a nice car! Outrageous, I tell you.
  • big eddie
  • How did this case come about, were you whacking up in front of an episode of the practise or what?
  • N4TE
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by freedom74

    This matter was winnable,

    my muscular buttocks it was. in terms of the number of birthdays you've had (and by no other standard,) you're an adult. adults don't get child support. and claiming for overseas travel expenses to pursue your love of "the arts" and "travel" isn't child support, it's tantamount to extorsion. grow the fuck up andcut the apron strings, disown your parents before they disown you and for fuck's sake, sort your life out or end it. I'm sure nobody particularly cares which choice you run with. can't you just draw an extra air bubble or two back into your next fit? Please?
  • dance strategy
  • n4te ... spreading the love on ITM
  • Marshy
  • I think you've achieved your goal of being more irritating than Smith.
  • N4TE
  • love? what love. the only good junky is a dead junky.
  • luvpig
  • Loving that ignore list right now. i've had enough batshit insanity. It's like reading the legal correspondence from my ex.
    Last edited by luvpig : 08-Mar-08 at 05:43pm.
  • RunningWithScissors
  • haha comedy gold from the thread title alone
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